Grown Ups Need Fun, Too!

Let’s play a game. What’s the first word you think about when I say parent? Maybe the word rewarding comes to mind. Or perhaps exhausted or loving. When I think about what it means to be a parent, one of the first words I think of is responsible. From providing the basics of food, shelter, and clothing, to managing the complexities of work, school, friends, appointments, and activities, parents not only have to be responsible for their own multi-dimensional lives, but they also have to be responsible for their children’s ever-evolving, blossoming little lives. On any given day, parents bounce between dressing for work and playing dress-up, managing meetings and juggling school pick-ups, seeing friends and arranging play-dates. The laundry never ends, the emails don’t stop, the appointments stack up and dinner has to be thought of, shopped for, unpacked and prepared. Parents are role-shifting superheroes and their superpower (among many) is responsibility.

A big part of our job as parents is to shepherd our children towards age-appropriate fun and play. As much as we love to do this, their experience of fun isn’t always what we would choose for ourselves. It’s ok to admit that your child’s fun isn’t your idea of fun; once you’ve accepted those differences, then you can get to the business of discovering what fun means to you now. So what is fun as an adult, anyway? Is it something you do? Somewhere you go? Do you share the fun or prefer to have fun solo? What does having fun look like as a parent?

It’s not surprising if you have a hard time answering some of those questions; there’s a good chance, as a parent of young kids, you’ve lost sight of what fun is or can’t remember what it feels like to have fun and play. Even as a parent of older children, you may find yourself with more time and unsure how to fill it. Now, it goes without saying that it’s perfectly natural to have thwarted your own need for play as you raise(d) your kids, that’s part of the gig. And, it’s also perfectly natural to find your way back to fun when time permits, or better yet, when you figure out how to make it a priority.

But I don’t have time for fun, you say. Or, fun is a privilege I can’t afford, you say. Or, there’s nothing fun to do, you say. And I can entertain those self-limiting beliefs, because your worldview matters. But could you entertain my gentle challenge to that narrative? What if I told you that having a bit of fun could improve your mood, improve your relationships, and improve your sense of self in a busy, loud, and increasingly digital world? I hope you’d say, let’s go!

Fun, especially when it’s shared with others, naturally stimulates the production of oxytocin (the hormone behind social connection), and the reward circuity in our brain that’s responsible for pleasure. Put simply, fun equals feeling good! So what counts as fun, you ask? Maybe it’s a casual hobby like painting, baking, or playing a board game. Cleary et al. (2025) state that “hobbies facilitate relaxation and pleasure, playing a crucial role in mitigating anxiety, stress and depression and promoting overall life satisfaction” (p. 801). Perhaps fun for you elicits more excitement and thrills, like downhill mountain biking, karaoke, or going to a concert. Whatever your version of fun is, we know that play helps us achieve joy (Holmes and Hart, 2022). When we feel joy, we are more likely to engage in the present moment, we’re better equipped to cope with stress, and we’re more likely to (surprise!) seek more joy. The benefits of play as an adult mean we might have more capacity for the sleepless nights, more energy for Lego marathons, sibling squabbles or a grumpy spouse. Play is another way of taking care of ourselves, and self-care is a currency best spent consistently.

If you’re having a hard time coming up with something fun to do, try thinking about what you used to love doing as a kid, or some of your favourite pastimes when you had more freedom. If it’s still tough, here’s a few ideas: host a trivia night, try a pottery or candle-making class, learn to make sushi, go kayaking or rent an e-bike, start a veggie/flower garden, try something new, go dancing, take a scenic drive, sing. Of all the responsibilities parents shoulder, we can’t afford to dismiss the responsibility we have to take care of ourselves.

This article appeared in the Fall 2026 edition of Island Parent https://islandparent.ca/fall-2026/

References

Cleary, M., Le Lagadec, D., Thapa, D. K., & Kornhaber, R. (2025). Exploring the impact of hobbies on mental health and well-being: A scoping review. Issues in mental health nursing, 46(8), 804–814. https://doi.org/10.1080/01612840.2025.2512006

Holmes, R. & Hart, T., (2022). Exploring the connection between adult playfulness and emotional intelligence. The Journal of Play in Adulthood. 4(1), 28–51. doi: https://doi.org/10.5920/jpa.973